 Starting in the Treasure Coast Contract Ninja business...
Having finally finshed my training with the Master, I anxiously awaited my first contract. Well, perhaps anxiously is a little strong...One generally doesn't have resulting injuries from a correspondence course. The ice pack, Tylenol and Scotch seem to be keeping the pain to a minimum. And, my driving skills are virtually unaffected by the eye-patch required to maintain the much-coveted "Single Vision" most humans have. I think it's rather sporty looking, anyway. Treasure Coast Contract Ninja EXTRORDINAIRE???...Pirate's Eye Patch? Oh, yeah...Gonna be a great day with the ladies!!
***BRRREEEEEPPPPPPPPP****
Ah-Ha! The Ninja fax screams adventure! Master Larry will be so proud of me. Almost as thrilled as he was with his new Rolex. Who knew that my $798 course fee could make a Ninja Master posing as a semi-homeless cross-dressing bum so happy? Money well spent, I say. Once he learns to read and tell time, I think he'll reveal to the world his Martial Arts Stature. Until then, bringing coffee and Robitusin to his box every morning is the price I pay for ancient skills.
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ASSIGNMENT #1
Agent: Treasure Coast Contract Ninja
Deadline: 3 days
Payment: $6.75/hour + 3 Happy Meal coupons
Project: To further hone your skills, you must be tested greatly. What greater test than to verify the alertness of local Law Enforcement? In particular, the attention of those in leadership positions? You will gain access to the Police Chief's office and capture his prized tropical fish: The Algerian Crotch Gar.
BE WARNED! Not only ill-tempered and venomous, the Algerian Crotch Gar has fearsome teeth an unerring aim when striking for the human lap. (no, really...ask my former son, Clarice)
Fish must be delivered ALIVE, details to follow.
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The Treasure Coast Contract Ninja rides one-eyed into legend!!! And, most likely, into better written, more interesting short stories...
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