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Written by Tim Hoke
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Treasure Coast Contract Ninja
So, you've found a Treasure Coast Contract Ninja. Well, nice work!! Not really sure what you'd need a local Contract Ninja for, though. I probably gave you this link to attract your attention and demonstrate my ability at the same time, didn't I? I mean, really...I think you were looking for a Treasure Coast SEO Expert, weren't you? So, I did some off-the-wall things to show you that I'm that guy and that some so-called "experts" really aren't worth the money or the time they take from you. (yes, I specifically used the word take) What do I mean?:
 No, sadly, my ninja skills have deteriorated. I did it to prove an important point. Getting your web site ranked for a Unique Brand Name that is rarely searched is simple. You already know the unique word or phrase you're looking for, don't you? Try searching for yourself. You probably rank #1 just by breathing, don't you? BUT, if it matters to your revenue to be ranked by Google in the Top 3 of the product or service niche and keywords that get your business ahead, then you need to stop fooling around and find a real person that can do it.
If you managed to end up here by looking for a Treasure Coast Contract Ninja, send me a note and I'll try to send you more ridiculous ninja pictures.
If you got to this site because you're looking for a Treasure Coast SEO Expert , send me a note and let's get moving!
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Written by Tim Hoke
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 Starting in the Treasure Coast Contract Ninja business...
Having finally finshed my training with the Master, I anxiously awaited my first contract. Well, perhaps anxiously is a little strong...One generally doesn't have resulting injuries from a correspondence course. The ice pack, Tylenol and Scotch seem to be keeping the pain to a minimum. And, my driving skills are virtually unaffected by the eye-patch required to maintain the much-coveted "Single Vision" most humans have. I think it's rather sporty looking, anyway. Treasure Coast Contract Ninja EXTRORDINAIRE???...Pirate's Eye Patch? Oh, yeah...Gonna be a great day with the ladies!!
***BRRREEEEEPPPPPPPPP****
Ah-Ha! The Ninja fax screams adventure! Master Larry will be so proud of me. Almost as thrilled as he was with his new Rolex. Who knew that my $798 course fee could make a Ninja Master posing as a semi-homeless cross-dressing bum so happy? Money well spent, I say. Once he learns to read and tell time, I think he'll reveal to the world his Martial Arts Stature. Until then, bringing coffee and Robitusin to his box every morning is the price I pay for ancient skills.
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ASSIGNMENT #1
Agent: Treasure Coast Contract Ninja
Deadline: 3 days
Payment: $6.75/hour + 3 Happy Meal coupons
Project: To further hone your skills, you must be tested greatly. What greater test than to verify the alertness of local Law Enforcement? In particular, the attention of those in leadership positions? You will gain access to the Police Chief's office and capture his prized tropical fish: The Algerian Crotch Gar.
BE WARNED! Not only ill-tempered and venomous, the Algerian Crotch Gar has fearsome teeth an unerring aim when striking for the human lap. (no, really...ask my former son, Clarice)
Fish must be delivered ALIVE, details to follow.
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The Treasure Coast Contract Ninja rides one-eyed into legend!!! And, most likely, into better written, more interesting short stories... |
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